Ozzie's Planet proudly presents My Yearbook 2002

Best Book:	I've read a great deal of really good books, but the one I finished last, "America The Beautiful" by Moon Unit Zappa is the one that surprised me the most and will live on for a very long time.
Best CD:	I guess I listened to Hanoi Rock (the 4 CD-box) most of the summer and during the winter I gave Kent a new chance. In the beginning of the year I was totally into the old 80s heavy metal. I haven't really found anything new that I love - but Meldrum's new album will be awesome!!
Best Concert:	Hanoi Rocks at Sweden Rock Festival.
Best Single:	"A Little Less Conversation" by Elvis - it's as if he'd written it today. The lyrics are SO perfect.
Best Promotional Video:	Nerved: Believe In me
The Sexiest Man:	Someone I dreamt about! He turned out to be a fantasy only. Boooring.
Best Moment:	Sweden Rock Festival with Philomena Lynott
Worst Moment:	When the boss told me to either stay where I am and never expect anything good to happen workwise or accept the new joboffer with a minimum pay...
Awesome Internet Experience:	Launch of Thin Lizzy - a Rock Legend.
Best Gig:	Hanoi Rocks at Klubben in Stockholm and at InKonst in Malmö.
Best Record Sleeve:	Vapen & Ammunition by Kent. It's a white tiger!
Drink of the Year:	White wine, iced water with lemon & Pepsi Max. I'm a creature of habit... Jack Daniel's on my 30th birthday of course!!
Best Movie:	"Mists Of Avalon" totally caught me off guard. Bought and read all the books right after.
Eyes of The Year:	Actually, I've had a few crushes but none I really fell for. Apart from one, and he doesn't know it. He'll never guess it. Not even reading this he'll get it... He's a fantasy. He doesn't exist. At least that's what I am telling myself to move on quicker...
Best Ian Gillan Tune of The Year:	"Nothing But The Best"
The Place of The Year:	In my new apartment. I can't begin to say how much I love it. I even dread having people around cause I'm afraid they'll say evil things about it.
Best Metal Club:	As hard it it to admitt, I haven't been out. I've seen a few gigs but nothing else.
Nicest Person:	My roommate at work!! I thought it'd be hell sharing room with someone I never met before but it was a matchmake made in heaven - it reminds me of when I was in UK to study but I was too occupaid to make new friends and enjoying the surroundings. In this case, instead of working myself to the bones I am having a really good time socializing at work :-)
Asshole of 2002:	My two female bosses, I can't print their names cause then they would sue me - but I indeed feel totally run over and treated with such lack of respect that I find myself thinking I am in some David Lynch movie...
To summarize:	Much better year than last year!
Final words:	When 2003 starts I have a new job. A completly new place to go to every morning. Hopefully it'll be the break I need to move on. I've learned a lot this year but mostly I have recovered. I'm fine. I feel good. I feel alright. I'll survive.

Gigs & concerts I've been to during the year:

1. January 23 Pain at The Shrine, Stockholm ****
2. May 8 Humanimal/Talisman at Pub Anchor, Stockholm *****
3. May 22 Dokken w/John Norum at Tivoli, Helsingborg ***
4. May 25 Dokken w/John Norum at Prisma, Västerås **
5. June 4 Hanoi Rocks at Klubben, Stockholm *****
6. June 6 Thin Lipstick at Sweden Rock Festival ***
7. June 7 Doro at Sweden Rock Festival ***
8. June 8 Hanoi Rocks ***** Magnum **** Ted Nugent *** at Sweden Rock Festival
9. June 9 Hanoi Rocks at InKonst, Malmö *****
10. July 25 Iggy Pop at Gröna Lund, Stockholm ***
11. September 26 Meldrum at Club Nirvana, Stockholm ****
12. November 25 Meldrum & Motörhead at KB, Malmö ****(*)
13. December 7 Ulf Lundell at Hovet, Stockholm *****

DEE DEE RAMONE 1952-2002

Jag kände bara Dee Dee genom hans biografi. Jag läste den tidigare i år.
Jag såg fram emot att få prata med honom nån gång. Jämföra anteckningar typ.
Jag var på SRF när jag fick veta, det pep till i mobilen och när jag läste så visste jag
att vännen som skickat sms:et var förkrossad.

Det var vackert att höra Hanoi Rocks hylla DeeDees minne, liksom Phil Lynotts.

Robbin Crosby från Ratt dog samma dag, aids.
För bara några år sedan berättade jag för en av hans vänner om trippelcocktailen
som gör att HIV inte längre är en dödlig sjukdom. Jag vet inte vad som hände.
Om han inte fick medicinen. Om den var för dyr. Om hans kropp ej klarade av den.
Jag vet inte.
Jag känner mig sorgsen och uppgiven.
Det går för fort nu.
Innan jag vet ordet så är det någon jag känner personligen.
Jag vill inte vara med om det.
Aldrig.

"When the spirit slips away
There's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can say
May the angels be watching over you
When your spirit slips away
When the darkness starts to fall
You're on your own and your back's against the wall
May the angels bring their flame to you
When your spirit slips away
And when the music that makes you blue
Unfolds its secrets, the mysteries are told to you
May the angels sing rejoice to you
That fateful day when your spirit slips away"

"Spirit Slips Away" av Phil Lynott/Thin Lizzy

Sweden Rock Festival 2002

The Sweden Rock Festival remains at the No1 position regarding Summer Festivals. Not only does it mark the beginning of the summer (when you go there it's spring and when you leave it's summer) but it also is the highlight of the year. This year I walked the area with Philomena Lynott and it has never ever been more fun.

To be honest - this festival was really different from every other festival I've been to. I don't have that many photos - but I have a head filled memories :-)

The Sweden Rock Festival of 2002 became Phil Lynott's.
When Thin Lizzy-tribute band Thin Lipztick walked off stage on Thursday night I began to work... and it started right away. Wherever Philomena walked, Phil's fans came up to her, gave her a hug, shook her hands, took photos, asked for autographs and it never ended.
Not once did Philomena complain about it.
She gave her address to everyone who asked for it and invited them to visit her when they came to Dublin. Just as she did with me when I first met her nine years ago.
She's the most fantastic woman I have ever met.

Before we even started working I said I'll do anything as long as I get to see Hanoi Rocks play.
I never once thought Phyllis would actually see them too!!
But she did and she loved it.
She stood infront of the massive speakers and enjoyed the music, Doc Holliday, Ted Nugent and Hanoi Rocks among other bands. Look around and ask a 71-years old woman doing that!! I hope I'll be as vital as Philomena and that I never get too old to rock!

Andy McCoy turned out to be a friend of Phil's during his years in London - who would have known? Thursday night we all recieved the sad news about Dee Dee Ramones.
Of course Hanoi Rocks dedicated "Million Miles Away" to Dee Dee and Phil Lynott.
Everyone did a dedication of some sort.

Wherever Philomena went she was greeted with open arms and memories.
How she can hold it all is a mystery to me. I don't know how many times I swallow hard not crying. Even Lemmy got a bit out of focus being face to face with his old friend's mother, last time they met was at Phil's memorial.

Hanoi Rocks were the band that spent the most time with Philomena, specially Andy - they were dancing in front of Ted Nugent.
Andy McCoy is a survivor. He barely looks alive, but somehow he is. And he took an instant love for Philomena. I understand him, I really do.

Mark Stanway from Grand Slam who was playing with Magnum - came up to me and introduced himself. I didn't recognice him until he spelled it out to me... his modest clues beginning with "...I used to be in a band with Philip..." didn't help at all. That was embarrassing - but I haven't seen a photo of him since the early 80s...
I don't think he was offenended, and if he was, he soon forgot cause he met Philomena again and it was wonderful to see.

As usual - the breakfast at the hotel is one of the highlights.
Seeing all those rockers the morning after. People who clearly should not be spoken to until several hours after the first litre of coffee and those who given up drinking alltogether and are so cheerful one like to punish them really hard! No scandals this year though - Freak Kitchen learned their lesson and didn't open any closed doors... (see last years report for details)

Speaking of Freak Kitchen I never managed to see them, they were 2nd on my list but there was all sorts of other things needed to be done. However, if any one in the band reads this I want to make sure you know I was going to Philomena's room with my bottle of wine :-)

You gotta love Freak Kitchen - there's a big party going on with the collective bands that's been playing at the festival - and what do they do? Sit in a corridor, playing acoustic guitars having a party of their own...

I don't know what will happen next year - but I really hope Phyllis want to come over again.

Phil Lynott's mother is a Rocker :-)

VISION

I got my first pair of glasses when I was 4 years old. I thought they were dead cool, just as the coolest guy among my mom's pupils whom I adored. The glasses had steel frames, enough said.

I never ever used my glasses all the time. Only when I read or stared at some kind of screen.

What's wrong with my eyes is a mystery. I never know what to say when people ask. Only thing I know is that it's different depending on what eye we're talking of. One needs a cokebottlebottom and the other a window - still neither makes any real difference to my sight. My vision isn't 20/20. It's closer to something/something, or in plain English: blurry. I'm used to it. It's always the same, my world is blurry with no sharp edges, as in "out of focus" or in dimlight romantic scenes...

All of this is now history. After seeing 2 specialists I got a nice prescription and I choosen a nice pair of frames that would make me look intelligent infront of the PC-screen at work.

A week later I picked them up. As I tried them on I soon became aware of the sharpness of everything. I took them off and put them in the brandnew hardcase, paid and left the store.
At home I tried them on again. I looked smart alright. But what was more stunning was the new world that opened up. I COULD SEE!! Everything looked SHARP. No matter how far or how close, it was CLEAR.

Nowadays I take my glasses on every morning. I've given compliments to my co-workes neat (but old) bags & clothings, seeing them for the first time. I don't have to guess what the roadsignes REALLY says or what bus is coming up.

Wanna have proof of what I've said is really true?
I've had my glasses on at gigs and I didn't have to be up in front of the guitarist to see if he's really playing or not!!!

Thank God for specialists!!!

LAYNE STALEY, A.I.C, 1967 - 2002

Scary's on the wall,
Scary's on the wall
Watch where you spit
I'd advise you wait until it's over
Then you got hit
And you shoulda known better
And we die young
Faster we run
Down, down, down you're rollin'
Watch the blood float in the muddy sewer
Take another hit
And bury your brother
Scary's on the wall
Scary's on the wall
Another alley trip
Bullet seek the place to bend you over
Then you got hit
And you shoulda known better
"We Die Young" by Alice In Chains

Layne.
Han skulle ha fyllt 35 i augusti.
Död.
Hur länge behöver man vara död för att kroppen ska börja föruttna?
Fungera inte heroin som ett konserveringsmedel?
Tänk att ingen saknat honom. En artist. Jag har deras skivor i min samling.
Man vill ju tro att kändisskap medför att någon alltid saknar en och älskar en och vill ha en del av en. Eller? Är det en fabricering? När blev artisterna människor? När suddades gränserna ut? Är vi alla odödliga? Är vi alla dödliga?

Jag avbröt en man i hans självmordsförsök en gång. Jag visste inte om det. Han hade lagt upp sina redskap framför sig, han hade ordnat det så som han ville. Och så ringer telefonen, jag ringer och gnäller på nåt. Han blir irriterad över att jag gnäller och glad över att någon gnäller - samtidigt. Ett halvår senare berättade han det för mig. Jag kom inte ens ihåg samtalet, men för honom var det livsavgörande. Istället för att ta sitt liv tog han en dusch och såg till att göra de där jag sa åt honom att göra.
Sedan träffade han sin dotter.
Han har inte tänkt på självmord igen.
Han säger inte att jag räddade livet på honom.
Han säger att jag avbröt honom. jag påminde honom om att han hade en funktion och ett ansvar. Ett enda, men dock - det fanns där och då fanns det en anledning att leva.

Men med heroin vet man aldrig, det kan ha varit för rent - det kan ha varit för mycket, det kan ha varit uppblandat, det kan ha varit oavsiktligt det kan ha varit planerat - och sedan kan det ju ha varit något helt annat.

Jag träffade aldrig Layne. Somnade på deras konsert, Clawfinger var förband och så mycket bättre. Jag orkade inte ens ge AIC chansen att bevisa att de var roligare efter konserten än på konserten.
Grunge har aldrig varit något för mig.
Musiken tilltalade mig inte, men kulturen och drogerna har alltid faschinerat mig.
Vem ska berätta deras historier om de dör?
Jimi Hendrix pappa dog nylingen, men han var en gammal man.
Det känns lättare att acceptera.

LYNCHBURG, TENNESSEE

Jack Daniel, vilken man... vilken dryck...
Vilken fin kompis.
Första gången jag smakade JD var på Dave Lee Roth's konsert på Olympen 7/12-88.
Han hällde lite ur sin flaska på publiken och jag fick det i ögat och på kinden...
Det sved.
Jag stack ut tungan smakade.
Det brändes.
Några dagar senare åkte jag och min kompis hem till hennes bror, han hade en flaska JD och vi skulle smaka.
På riktigt.
Det var vårt inträde i den sanna heavy metal svängen, legenden, myten, Sunstet Strip, Hollywood, Mötely Crüe, Poison, Phil Lynott.

Vi grimaserade och sa i korus "åh vad gott".

Jack&cola blev det sedan allt som oftast.
Sen blev det ren JD ur flaskan.
Det blev JD i sockerkakan, i chokladsåsen till glassen, i muffinsen, i julgodiset...
Andra drack skumpa på nyåret - jag drack årets första JD...

Lyssnar på Dare's "Belief", har ljus tända i hela lägenheten.
Katten spinner bredvid mig och glaset med JD doftar gudomligt.

MUSIC

Some times music is the thin line between sanity and madness. Sometimes the future is so dark not even music helps. That when I really get depressed. When I feel so low not even music can get me up. When I look at my cd's and come up with nothing to listen to. A tousand albums, and nothing to make me feel better.

What's left to do then??

LOVE

I'm sitting here, listening to a new friendship. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' "No More Shall We Part". My dear friend Lasse, who means more to me than he'll ever realize, told me I'd love this album. It's filled with dark ballads, he said, the way you want it.

To be honest, not many people has done this to me - giving me advices on what to listen to and saying it suit me perfectly. I'm not the kinda person to appreciate people telling me what I like. I don't mind listening to music that other peple like - but when they're sure I'll love it too... I get all suspicious and just refuse to listen to the tunes with an open mind.
I'm very childish in that way.

Lasse introduced me to Edie Brickell and I was furious.
Her music is so not my type of music, and she's gorgeous looking and ... not me! Still, her songs are speaking to my heart and soul and she put the words and tunes to what's circling in my brain. I really hated Lasse for a long time for letting her in my life. But once I stoped feeling betrayed and got comfy with this singer/songwriter theme I appreciated what he'd done and now when Lasse tells me there's something he thinks suits me - I rush down to the records store, eager to find out if this is yet something that will change & improve my life, the way Edie Brickell has.

Listening to Nick Cave I can hear the recent loss and the sadness. The piano is clear and bright. His voice is rough and sad, maybe he's already given up. He doesn't sound desperat. Not the way the lyrics would give him the right to be.
But this isn't just a desperate cry from a broken hearted man. This is something more. There's a religious touch to this album - something that feels very strange and new to me. I'm not used to music being used in that way - to express religious doubts - or is that just what I'm hearing cause I can't see the full deepness of the lyrics?

"No More Shall We Part" sounds so very sad, so unbelievably fragile and lonesome. But listening to the lyrics he really should be happy - he's got married, it's the end of tragedy and he'll never have to say "she's left me" and everything is changing... But he doesn't sound happy.
Maybe he just isn't.
Life so strange, so odd and listening to Nick Cave I realize Lasse is right, this suits me well and will not leave this album until I fully absorbed and understand the meaning of the lyrics, not being fooled by the music.

Love really is one of the most complicated state a man or woman can be in. Feeling deep love for someone gives you away completly. There's not much you can do about it. Myself I show it in my eyes. They sparkle and glister and noone ever has to ask, if you have to ask - then you're not it - the reason for the love I feel. If I want to save the "I love you-part" in a relationship I need to wear shades.

But it doesn't matter how clearly it shows - some men need to ask anyway. Some men will forever need to hear the words and won't be satisfied with the signs and what's in front of them - all though, my eyes are as an open book and if you learn how to read it, then there won't be any secrets, misunderstandings and no need for doubts.

But it's never that easy.
Love never is.

Not even if you are clear and make up the rules - even writing a contract - everything might go wrong. No individuals are the same. You learn to understand one man and you think, when the love's gone and the relationship's down the drain, that at least you have the knowledge now, about men, that will help you in a new releationship later on in life.

The only thing I've learned, that helped me advance in any relationship, is that everything I've learned about men goes down the drain too, when the relationship's over & done. Reason for this is that men clarly are more complicated than women have a tendency to believe and that when you hit love you feel this is SO different and this is The One and nothing as what I've felt before... I'm writing this with a smile, I keep doing this all the time and I'm sure I'll do it many times more - if I wouldn't, then it would be a real tragedy as it would mean I've given up on finding the perfect partner.

Giving it some more thoughts, there's one more thing I've learned. I've learned what I want from a realationship and what's important to me.
Respect, love, happiness, honesty, freedom and even more respect.

What's the point to be with someone who clearly want to change you - or you clearly can't live with the way this person is right now. You know you have to take the full package.
Live with it.
Sure you can try to make the person you've decided to love wear different cloths or have some other hairstyle or show some manner or something like that, but the personality sticks.
The older we get, the less you're bound to success changing.

I'm very suspicious of falling in love.
Breaking up is more of my cup of tea.
Scary, isn't it?

I've been hurt so badly I can't really rely on a different end than breaking up. Why would there be? Sooner or later the "every day routine" comes along... and you have to find it in you to live with it.
I don't know what makes it easier to have those routines alone, than to have them with someone. Maybe I find the life as single more comfortable. Or maybe it's my bad experiences. Being in a relationship, to me, means I have to give up a large part of what I am and to start compromise, giving & taking. Sitting here by my computor writing for hours would be impossible with my lover at home.
In the first phase - when you're totally lovestruck - I wouldn't consider sitting here writing, but then, when the routine of every days comes along I would want it. And I wouldn't want to feel I'm antisocial by doing so.
It's easy sitting here deciding what I am looking for and what I need - I already know that when love hits me from a clear blue sky all of my sensibilities has gone.

I hope, that when I meet The One, he'll be everything I want and need in a man.
That he'll sing me a love song in the shower.
That he has a life already and is male and mature enough to realize I don't sleep with everyone I'm talking to. That he believes me when I tell him I would never lie, cheat nor try to change him.
That I need my freedom but I also needs the security and arms to feel safe in.
I have all the tragedy one needs behind, it takes time to trust and I'll surely put him thru a zillion tests to make him prove his honest intentions.

The last man to pass the tests didn't love me. He loved someone else.

But it's okay cause he made me believe in love again and I'll alwyas keep him in my heart. Maybe, some day he'll be a good friend of mine and tell me about some song he heard and know I would love if I heard it too...

INTERNET

It's really something special with internet. 20 yrs ago when I started to get some interest for music I was directed to one single magazine for information. I read the OKEJ magazine like a bible, insideout. I memorized every word. As I understood and read English better I started to read Hit Parader, Metal Edge and Circus. Then the German Bravo. I was constantly spending a fortune on magazines, no matter that the news were old as I got them - I got the news as soon as I could!

My mailbox (that's the thing outside the frontdoor) was filled with letters (snailmail for you youngsters) from penpals around the world. What wasn't spent on magazines and vinyls were spent on stamps, envelopes and paper!

Leo in Malta was one of the penplas I wrote the most to. We exchanged long letters, solving our problems and sharing musical thoughts. Until he'd found a girlfriend who was jealous... That was way before cybersex!.. and the letters came to an end. I found Leo on internet, some 10 yrs later. He's still in a band and he's promised to write me a snailmail with updates :-)

Miia is the penpal that became a real life friend - we used to support the Swedish & Finnish post services alone with our many frequent letters - usually 1 or 2 every week! Now we've went on to e-mail, thank god, stamps are really expensive in Sweden these days!

Internet brought us closer. We know stuff when it happens, as it happens. People that used to be too far away, too famous, too distant... we're all close, we're all available - thanx to internet.

The boundaries has gone.
The filters has gone.
For better & worse.